


A Heart You Can't Find

by sw722



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-24 07:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10736682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sw722/pseuds/sw722
Summary: "And I never put myself on the line cause you can't break a heart you can't find..."  Regina has all kinds of feelings about Emma getting married.





	A Heart You Can't Find

**Author's Note:**

> I like lists so....  
> 1\. It has been a very long time since I wrote any kind of fanfiction. And I've never written any Swan Queen before but I heard this song and just couldn't stop thinking about Regina.
> 
> 2\. This takes place in season six, right after episode 17, "Awake". It's pretty canon compliant up until then. 
> 
> 3\. The title and the lyrics are from a song called "A Heart You Can't Find" by Wise Children and it is a thing of beauty. You should listen to it. 
> 
> 4\. There is a possible Emma companion piece to this in the works. 
> 
> 5\. Do people still do disclaimers? I don't own anything related to Once Upon a Time and I don't own the song "A Heart You Can't Find."

A Heart You Can’t Find  
“I never told you about your mouth  
How when you speak, I grow still  
How every word that you say, just makes me die  
And I never put myself on the line  
Cause you can’t break a heart you can't find…” 

 

Regina sat in the back of Granny’s, watching the people of Storybook celebrate--people she had once hated and cursed and people she now loved (or at least tolerated in some cases) and saved from curses and other general evil on a regular basis. Regina sipped her coffee, spiked with the perfect amount of whiskey, and watched. She should be celebrating too but she wasn’t feeling quite in the mood. She had just figured out how to wake Snow and David, Hook was safely back in their world, and even though the final battle loomed ahead of them, tonight was for celebrating. At least for most of the town it was. Regina was finding it difficult to feel celebratory. 

A crowd was gathered around Emma and Hook, everyone grabbing at Emma’s hand and admiring her ring. Regina watched Emma’s mouth move as she talked, regaling the townspeople with the story of pulling Hook back from Neverland and her subsequent engagement. 

“I’m so happy,” Emma said and Regina’s eyes stayed on Emma’s lips, watching the words form and fall. Emma looked happy, certainly. And Regina was happy for her. But there was this strange, awful feeling coiled in the pit of Regina’s stomach that she couldn’t quite name. For a long while, she convinced herself it was jealousy but if she was honest, Regina knew it was something much deeper and much purer. 

Emma broke away from the crowd of admirers and slid into the booth across from Regina. She grinned and reached for Regina’s mug, taking a healthy sip. 

“Thank god,” Emma muttered, her eyes closing slightly as the whiskey warmed her body. “I love Hook but I really hate rum,” Emma said. 

The words caused that feeling in Regina’s stomach to sharpen and she gritted her teeth. _I’m happy for you, I'm so happy for you_ , she repeated over and over in her head as if through repetition she could convince herself it was true. 

“Are you okay?” Emma asked, concern clouding her face. She reached out and gently touched Regina’s hand across the table. 

“I’m fine,” Regina said, sounding harsher than she intended. “Just a bit tired,” she added. 

Emma’s mouth turned up in a grin and Regina couldn't help but grin back. “Hey, I was meaning to ask you, this sleeping curse thing, does it mean we’ll all never have any trouble sleeping ever again?”

“Yes dear,” Regina said with a small laugh. “It’s an instant insomnia cure.” 

Emma laughed as well and Regina’s eyes once again fell to Emma’s mouth. Regina clenched her fists under the table and tried to breathe deeply as she talked herself out of doing something really stupid like leaning across the table and kissing Emma Swan. How could Regina so desperately want the one thing she could never truly have? 

Emma looked suddenly uncomfortable and she chewed at her lower lip, brushing a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Um, I actually did kind of have something serious to ask you about,” Emma said. 

“Okay,” Regina said carefully. 

“Well, it's just this whole wedding business is kind of weird and not really my thing and I don’t have any idea what I’m doing and who the hell even knows what’s going to happen with this final battle and everything but I thought maybe you could be my maid of honor?” Emma spoke in a rush, trailing off towards the end and looking at Regina with slightly red cheeks. 

Regina said nothing and Emma rushed on. “It’s just I don’t really have a ton of friends around here and you and I are friends and I thought you could help keep my mother under control so I don’t end up wearing some awful puffy dress that I can’t walk in while birds carry my train up the aisle or something equally ridiculous,” Emma said. 

Regina smiled at that and Emma breathed a sigh of relief. Despite the smile, however, Regina remained still and silent--hearing Emma talk about love and weddings and Hook made Regina feel like setting something on fire and her palms itched slightly. In some ways, life had been easier when Regina covered every hurt by hurting others but she couldn’t do that anymore. Especially to Emma. 

Emma continued quickly, sensing Regina’s reluctance. “You don’t have to. If it’s weird or stupid, you really don’t have to.” Emma shrugged and looked a bit helplessly around the diner as if she could pick another maid of honor out of the crowd. 

Emma’s maid of honor. Could Regina do this? All she really wanted was to run. She thought briefly of a moment in the Enchanted Forest, tearing her heart from her chest and trying to bury it after saying goodbye to Henry and Emma and Regina wondered if that was still an option. She wasn’t sure she could watch Emma marry Hook, much less help her plan and prepare and then stand next to her while the entire thing unfolded in front of her. Regina wasn’t sure she was strong enough for that but she had suffered broken hearts before and she was still standing. The thought of standing next to Emma while she pledged her eternal love to Hook, however, made Regina feel like this was a broken heart she wouldn’t survive. 

But Emma’s eyes were so hopeful and happy and she was still worrying her lip between her teeth in a way Regina found entirely endearing that she realized she would do this for Emma if it made Emma happy. She would do anything for Emma if it made her happy. 

“Yes, Emma,” Regina answered with a smile, pushing back all the thoughts that screamed in her head and burying her heart somewhere deep inside where it hopefully wouldn’t be found again. “I’d be honored.”

 

“I never told you about your eyes  
How when you look at me, I feel blind  
When I don’t see you for months,  
You’re still always on my mind  
And I never put myself on the line  
Cause you can’t break a heart you can’t find…”

Regina took a deep breath and touched the door in front of her. It wasn’t just any door. It was a portal that would open up and land her back in Storybrooke. Back home. Regina glanced at Snow who was standing next to her, bouncing lightly on her feet and clearly anxious to open the door. 

“Ready?” Snow asked, smiling at Regina and reaching for the handle. 

“Are we sure this is right?” Regina asked, holding up the small box which contained the final ingredient they needed for a protection spell that was meant to keep Emma and Storybrooke safe during the final battle. 

Snow gave Regina a curious look. “You’re the expert, Regina,” she said. “You seemed sure yesterday.”

Regina sighed and glanced behind her at the field they had just trekked through. She was confident they had found what they needed but she was still hesitant to return home. She was hesitant to return to Emma. 

In the midst of town wide wedding plan and trying to keep her feelings in check when Emma gushed about some new wedding decision or how sickeningly happy she was, Regina had jumped at the opportunity to go to a different realm to obtain something that would help ensure Emma’s safety. Emma had initially insisted on going with Regina but finally agreed one of them should stay home with Henry and so Snow had ended up traveling with Regina instead. She had wanted to go alone. As hard as Regina tried, she couldn’t manage to keep her heart from pounding wildly in Emma’s presence, reminding her of just how strongly her feelings for Emma were. She couldn’t keep rampant fantasies of being the one Emma walked down the aisle towards from running through her mind and it was driving Regina a bit crazy. She thought a break would help and Regina had even entertained thoughts of burying her heart somewhere in another world so maybe her real world wouldn’t hurt so much. Having Snow as her constant sidekick made that plan impossible and made the simple act of wallowing impossible as well. 

Regina thought being away would help, thought it might ease some of this awful feeling she was carrying around. Regina thought (foolishly, she now realized), she would think of Emma less when she wasn’t around. But Regina couldn't stop thinking of Emma; in fact, she seemed to think of her more being away from her. Regina found herself wondering what Emma was doing and where she was while Regina and Snow hunted for this one missing piece that would keep Emma safe. Regina couldn’t even consider the possibility Emma wouldn’t make it through the final battle and she was willing to do anything to make sure Emma lived. There was a time when Emma Swan’s demise would have brought such joy to Regina’s heart but now, even just thinking about Emma in any kind of danger made Regina feel panicky and nauseous. 

“Regina,” Snow said softly, placing her hand on Regina’s arm. “You’ve dawdled the entire time we’ve been here and now you’re not excited to get back home. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Regina snapped. “I’m just trying to be thorough in order to save your daughter’s life.” 

“Mm hmm,” Snow said noncommittally. “Is this about Emma and Hook?” Snow asked. 

“What? No,” Regina protested. “Of course not.” Regina placed her hands on her hips and fixed Snow with a glare. 

“It’s normal to feel jealous, you know,” Snow said, ignoring the glare completely and Regina had a terrifying moment where she was sure Snow had figured it all out. “I can’t imagine how hard it is to see Emma and Hook planning a life together so soon after losing Robin. Losing Robin twice, actually,” Snow continued. 

Regina sighed in relief. “Right, yes, Robin,” Regina said. She had a passing flash of guilt when she realized she hadn’t thought of Robin in a while. Emma filled her mind so completely there was hardly room for anyone else. 

“Don’t worry, Regina,” Snow said, her smile widening. “We’re all still here for you and I know you and Hook have had your differences but he’s part of your family now too.” 

Regina nodded and fought the urge to roll her eyes. Hook would never be a part of her family. 

“Let’s get going,” she said, hoping to head off more of a Snow hope speech. Surely even enduring wedding planning back in Storybrooke was better than being lectured by Snow White yet again about hope and happy endings. 

Snow nodded and Regina reached for the door handle, pulling it open. She stepped through and into the familiar forest of home where Regina was instantly blinded by a whirl of worried blue-green eyes and a flash of blonde hair as Emma threw herself at Regina and hugged her tightly. 

Regina returned the hug somewhat stiffly as Snow stepped through the door behind her. Regina was overwhelmed by Emma. She couldn’t see or smell or feel anything but Emma and for a moment, she relaxed into Emma’s arms and allowed herself to enjoy this feeling of being wholly surrounded by Emma. 

“Geez Ma, let someone else have a turn,” Henry’s voice cut into Regina’s thoughts and she reluctantly pulled away from Emma. Regina caught Henry’s eye and he grinned at her and gave her a strong hug. 

“Sorry kid,” Emma said, giving her mother a quick hug before turning back towards Regina who was standing with an arm around Henry’s shoulders. “You were gone longer than we thought you would be,” Emma said, her eyes finding Regina’s with a worried look. 

“Regina was being thorough,” Snow said, holding up the box they had brought back. “But we found what we need and we’re fine.” 

“Are you?” Emma asked, her eyes still on Regina. She was studying Regina, staring at her in a way that made her feel utterly exposed. 

Regina nodded and smiled at Emma. “We’re fine, Emma,” she said. Emma’s eyes stayed on Regina and Regina held her steady gaze. She had never realized how vast and bright Emma's eyes could be. 

“Ma was ready to go after you,” Henry said. “She’s been standing here watching the door all day. Hook had to pick wedding flowers by himself.”

Regina’s smile widened at that and she pressed a kiss to Henry’s cheek. Henry ducked his head but leaned into Regina a little more firmly. 

Emma smiled back and looped her arm around the other side of Henry’s shoulders. Her fingers brushed against Regina’s and Regina jumped slightly. 

“He actually probably did better without me,” Emma said. “I don’t know the difference between a flower and a weed.” Emma seemed relieved and happy and unbothered by spending a day waiting for Regina and her mother to return rather than plan her wedding. 

“We’ve all been worried about you,” Emma said. “I'm just glad you’re back,” Emma said, looking at Regina in a way that made Regina’s stomach drop. 

Emma turned to Snow. “Dad’s making a welcome home feast which means we should get back before he burns down the loft,” Emma said. 

Snow laughed and nodded. “I suppose we should,” she answered, turning towards town. 

Henry wiggled out from his mother’s arms and hurried back towards town with Snow. “I'm starving!” he announced, walking faster. 

Emma reached for Regina’s hand and they fell behind slightly. “You’re sure you’re okay?” Emma asked. 

“Of course, dear,” Regina replied. 

“I missed you,” Emma admitted, looking slightly embarrassed as she gave Regina’s hand a squeeze. “Planning a wedding kind of sucks without you.”

“I missed you too,” Regina said and Emma looked at her with eyes wide and happy and Regina felt blinded by the light that was Emma. Regina felt herself leaning forward slightly and she saw Emma’s sharp intake of breath before Emma’s ring caught the sun and shone brightly for a moment, blinding Regina in a different way completely. 

Regina abruptly stepped back, her hand slipping from Emma’s. Regina felt her heart beating madly and she took a deep breath to still it, wishing yet again she could hide it away someplace safe from Emma Swan and all her brightness. Regina turned to follow Snow and Henry back towards town, Emma following silently behind. 

 

“And I was falling for you from the start  
But now you’re drifting from me  
And you’re too far from land  
And this is tearing me apart  
I’ll be calling your name while I crawl through the sand….”

It was a perfect Saturday spring day and Regina was in her garden, enjoying the sun. Storybrooke had been quiet recently and Regina was trying to enjoy the peace. Emma fought and won the final battle and lately the biggest concern in Storybrooke was where Emma and Hook would get married if it rained and they couldn't be outside. Regina was positive she enjoyed fighting villains and evil queens more than coming up with wedding weather contingency plans. 

Regina heard her phone buzz and she pulled off her gloves before picking it up. It continued to buzz and Regina knew it was Emma without looking. Emma had an obnoxious habit of texting multiple times in a row with random thoughts rather than gathering her words and composing one readable text. 

Regina glanced down at the multiple messages coming through her phone. 

_Help!_  
_Dress shop!_  
_Please get here!_  
_Maid of honor emergency_  
_REGINA!_  
_Fuck wedding dresses. I'll just get married in my red jacket._

______ _ _

__

____

Regina smiled in spite of herself. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and texted back quickly. 

_Calm down, dear. The red jacket isn’t suitable for any occasion, much less a wedding. It should be burned for the sake of all. I’ll be there soon._

____

Regina went inside to clean up and change and in the few minutes that took, she returned to more messages of distress from Emma, including a final message that read, _“We’re officially having a nudist wedding. No clothes of any kind.”_

Regina laughed at that and her cheeks flushed at the images her traitorous brain conjured of Emma walking down the aisle naked. 

Regina shook her head, trying to clear it and quickly sent an _“On my way--don’t write off clothing just yet” _message to Emma.__

____

Regina arrived at the dress shop shortly after Emma’s final text had arrived and hurried inside. There was a young girl looking bored near the front window and she waved her hand towards the back of the shop. 

__

Regina walked to the back of the shop and peered around the corner. Emma was standing in front of wall to wall mirrors in a wedding dress and for a moment, Regina just stared. 

__

Emma turned, catching Regina’s face in the mirror. “Regina,” she said with relief, turning unsteadily and tripping a little. 

__

Regina hurried forward and grabbed Emma’s hand to steady her. Regina still said nothing. All she could do was stare at Emma. 

__

Emma’s cheeks flushed and she shifted uncomfortably under Regina’s gaze. “Well?” Emma asked, biting her lip. 

__

Regina couldn’t speak. It was Emma Swan in a wedding dress and the heart Regina thought she had buried deep inside her began to beat so wildly for a moment Regina feared it would jump right out of her chest and into Emma’s hands. The dress was simple and perfect and very Emma. There was a hippie vibe to it and even with Emma’s currently unruly hair and bare feet, she looked perfect. 

__

“Fuck, Regina, you’re making me nervous,” Emma muttered. “You hate it,” she said, starting to step down from the small pedestal she was standing on. 

__

“No, Emma,” Regina said, finally finding words. “You look beautiful,” Regina said, her eyes sweeping up Emma’s body. “You’re beautiful.”

__

Emma grinned. “Really?” she asked. 

__

“Yes, Emma,” Regina said softly. “Wow,” she murmured, taking Emma in again. When Regina caught Emma’s eyes again, her hand still clasped in Regina’s, Regina realized she had been on a collision course with this moment from the day she met Emma. 

__

Regina knew now she had started falling for Emma the day she showed up on Regina’s doorstep with Henry, looking young and uncomfortable but so full of life and fire. She terrified Regina for so many reasons back then but she also made Regina feel alive again. Emma broke the curse and woke up Storybrooke but she woke up Regina long before that. 

__

Regina’s head was full of all the moments that led to this revelation. Emma saving her from the wraith when she least deserved to be saved and coming back from the Enchanted Forest after meeting Regina’s mother with understanding in her eyes. Emma refusing to let her die down in the mines with that damn diamond and Emma in Neverland, determined and fierce and naive about magic. Emma with tears in her eyes driving out of Storybrooke with Henry and brand new memories and Emma following her around like a puppy, begging for friendship and forgiveness. Emma helping Regina find a happy ending and sacrificing herself to darkness and running off to hell to play the hero. Emma shaking and scared and insisting Henry would be okay without her because he had Regina. There were a million moments and oh god, how Regina loved her. 

__

“Regina?” Emma said, drawing Regina back to the present where Emma was wearing the most perfect, beautiful wedding dress for her wedding to Hook. 

__

Hook. Regina felt her heart plummet. She was too late because Emma was standing here with those bright happy eyes and Emma was going to marry Hook. Regina was going to lose Emma and it somehow felt worse than losing Daniel and Robin because she would have to be here and watch Emma with someone else everyday. Regina felt her eyes water and it suddenly became hard to breathe. Maybe her mother was right all those years ago and love truly was weakness. This certainly didn’t feel like anything good. Regina felt like the heart she had so carefully reconstructed from darkness was once again breaking into a million pieces. 

__

“Oh shit,” Emma said suddenly. “Mom told me not to rub this wedding stuff in your face because of Robin and everything and I’m so sorry, Regina!” Emma stepped down and hugged Regina tightly. 

__

After a moment, Regina pulled away and gently brushed Emma's hair away from her face and wiped the tears away from her own. “It's fine, Emma. I’m fine,” Regina said. “Your mother doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I was just thinking about how handsome Henry will look next to you.”

__

Emma grinned at that and Regina continued, “This dress is perfect.” Regina stepped back to admire the full effect again. “You’re going to be amazing.”

__

“Thanks,” Emma said, glancing down at the dress and swaying slightly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Mom wanted me to pick that one,” Emma said, waving her hand at a huge white dress hanging up across the room. 

__

Regina arched an eyebrow. “No,” she said with a shake of her head. “That’s revolting. And not you.”

__

Emma laughed and reached for Regina’s hand again. “If I'm ever an ass about this wedding stuff, you'll tell me?”

__

“Of course,” Regina said. She forced another smile and Emma went back to looking at herself in the mirror and Regina felt her slipping a little bit further away. 

__

 

__

“I never told you about your man  
How when he speaks I grow ill  
And when I see you with him  
I don't feel like it's real  
And I never put myself on the line  
'cause you can't break a heart you can't find….”

__

Regina smiled and raised her glass of champagne as Hook prattled on about his soulmate love for Emma who sat flushed and nervous next to him. It was the rehearsal dinner and Regina had suffered through a day of last minute details and plans and rehearsing who walks where and when. 

__

Emma caught her eye and there was the smallest hint of panic there. Regina gave her a reassuring smile and Emma took a big gulp of champagne. 

__

“Emma, love, here’s to a lifetime of happiness,” Hook said, finally finishing his toast in the most cliched way possible and Regina tried hard not to roll her eyes. 

__

Hook leaned down and kissed Emma, whispering something in her ear and Regina felt her stomach twist. She had told herself this would get easier but seeing Hook with Emma made her feel sick. 

__

The people around the table began to mill about now that the official parts of the evening were over. They drank and talked and laughed and Regina kept her eyes on Emma. Emma seemed slightly tense tonight. Regina wrote it off as nerves but watched carefully as Emma traded in her champagne for whiskey. 

__

Snow came to stand next to Regina, smiling happily. “Isn’t this just wonderful?” Snow gushed. 

__

“Yes, it is,” Regina lied. None of this felt real to her but tomorrow, Emma Swan would marry Captain Hook. Regina had told Emma once she was far too good for Hook and she believed that now more than ever. But she was determined to get through this for Emma’s sake. 

__

Regina and Snow watched Emma down another shot of whiskey and nod distractedly at Archie who was currently showering Emma with profuse congratulations. 

__

“Regina,” Snow said, turning to face Regina with a serious face, her flute of champagne clutched in her hand. “Emma’s getting married tomorrow.”

__

“Oh really? Is that what this fuss is all about?” Regina said, waving her hand at the room full of people, unable to prevent herself from being sarcastic. 

__

“Regina,” Snow said again. “You should tell her.” 

__

“Tell her what?” Regina asked sharply. 

__

“Tell her how you feel,” Snow implored. 

__

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Regina said. 

__

“Yes you do,” Snow replied gently. “You can’t hide your disdain for Hook but you also can't hide your love for Emma.” 

__

Regina shook her head. “You’re wrong,” she said but her voice shook. How the hell did Snow White, innocent and oblivious Snow White, know anything about how Regina felt about Emma? 

__

“You’re really going to let her go through with this without telling her?” Snow asked sadly. 

__

“What else am I supposed to do?” Regina sighed, resigned. There was no use in arguing with Snow. Regina was too tired. “Emma’s happy and she loves Hook and if this is what she wants, I'll smile and be here and be happy for her.”

__

A troubled looked crossed Snow’s face. “What is this isn’t what she truly wants?”

__

“Don’t,” Regina said sharply. “Please,” Regina added. She couldn't take any kind of false hope. 

__

“Regina,” Snow said. “There is such a thing as being too selfless, you know.” 

__

“No, I don’t think there is,” Regina said. “Not when it comes to Emma.” 

__

Snow and Regina watched as Hook took Emma into his arms, swaying with her slightly and kissing her cheek. Snow started to speak again but Regina shook her head. “I really have to go,” she said, brushing past Snow and missing the look of longing that passed across Emma’s face as Regina hurried away. 

Regina bumped into Henry as she was making a quick exit. "Mom," Henry said, grinning Emma's grin at her. "Where are you going?" 

"I'm a bit tired, sweetheart," Regina said, trying to smile. "I'm going to sneak out and try to get some sleep before the big day tomorrow." 

"Are you okay, Mom?" Henry asked. 

"Of course," Regina said quickly. She handed Henry a bottle of water and glanced back at Emma who looked about two seconds away from bolting or throwing up. "Make sure your mother drinks lots of water tonight and remind her she's too old to be a hungover bride." 

"Okay, Mom," Henry said with a sad smile. He gave Regina a long hug and a knowing look before Regina escaped into the cool night air. 

 

__

It was either very late or very early when a loud knocking on the front door woke Regina up. Regina woke up a start and looked wildly around her bedroom before realizing someone was at her door. Regina pulled on a thin silk robe and hurried down the stairs, pulling the door open sharply. 

__

Emma was standing outside, still wearing her dress from the rehearsal dinner. She was breathing heavily and her hands shook as she stared up at Regina. 

__

“Emma,” Regina said softly. 

__

Emma’s eyes were watery and terrified. “Regina, I can’t,” Emma started. 

__

“Shh, it's okay, Emma,” Regina said, moving quickly toward her and gathering Emma in her arms. “It’s okay,” Regina murmured, running her hands through Emma’s hair. 

__

Emma was taking short, shaky breaths, gasping a little for air. Regina held her tighter and ran her hands up and down Emma’s back. “Breathe, Emma, just breathe.”

__

After a few minutes, Emma’s shoulders stopped shaking and her breathing grew even. She pulled back slightly from Regina and Regina reached up and wiped tears away from Emma’s cheeks. 

__

“I’m freaking out,” Emma said with a wry laugh. 

__

“I can see that,” Regina replied. “Why? What’s going on?”

__

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Emma said. 

__

“Get married?” Regina asked. 

__

Emma nodded. She ran her hands through her hair and balled her fists. “I just, I feel so trapped,” Emma said. “It feels wrong and it’s so stupid but I feel happiest when I’m with you and Henry and I’ve had more fun planning this wedding with you than with my fucking fiancé and I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s just so stupid because it’s you and you’d never feel like this about me and--”

__

“Emma,” Regina said, grabbing Emma's hands and putting a finger to her lips. “Emma, please, stop.”

__

Emma shook her head. “No, Regina, I need you to know. I need you to know,” she repeated. “I should be happy with Hook but I’m not because all I want is you.”

__

Regina felt her heart stir again as Emma stood on her front step and looked at her with those earnest eyes, so very much like Henry’s. She had tried to bury this for so long because she had never believed Emma would feel the same and now here was Emma, begging Regina to understand. 

__

“Oh Emma,” Regina said and in that moment she made a decision. She didn’t care if Emma broke her heart someday. If she got even a little bit of time loving Emma, it would be worth it. 

__

Regina surged forward and kissed Emma. She heard Emma’s gasp of surprise against her lips and Regina slid her hands into Emma's hair, pulling her closer. Emma’s hands settled on Regina’s waist and Regina felt alive. Regina deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue into Emma’s mouth and Emma groaned and tried desperately to bring Regina closer and closer and Regina felt like her heart was starting again after a long slumber. 

__

When they finally parted, Emma leaned her forehead against Regina’s and sighed happily. “Is this real?” she asked. 

__

“It's real,” Regina said, kissing Emma soundly once again. “I love you, Emma,” Regina said. “God, I love you.”

__

Emma kissed her back eagerly and for a few blissful moments, the two women stood on Regina’s porch and kissed and kissed and kissed. 

__

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Emma said suddenly, pulling away slightly to place small kisses down Regina’s neck. “I’m supposed to get married tomorrow!”

__

“I thought you were happy!” Regina replied, trying to remember how to form words when Emma’s tongue was sliding down the column of her throat. “I was trying to be a good person, do the right thing and whatever the hell you heroes are always going on about.” 

__

Emma pulled back slightly and looked at Regina with eyes that were big and bright. “I guess neither of us really ever take the easy way,” Emma said with a grin, her hands tangled in Regina’s hair and Regina had to laugh. 

__

“I love you too, you know,” Emma said and Regina felt so, so happy. More than happy. Whole. She felt whole. 

__

“Ugh, I guess I have to not get married tomorrow,” Emma groaned. “Or today. Whatever it is.” 

__

“We could leave,” Regina said, smoothing blonde curls away from Emma’s face and placing a gentle, chaste kiss on her cheek. “Just take off somewhere and come back when the runaway bride jokes die down.” 

__

Emma grinned. “Can we take Henry with us?” 

__

“Sure,” Regina said. “We might scar him for life though because we have a lot of lost time to make up for,” Regina grinned devilishly and kissed Emma again, nipping at her lip and tugging on her hair. 

__

Emma groaned again and leaned into Regina. “We’ll figure it out, right?” she asked, the smallest hint of worry in her voice. 

__

“Of course, dear,” Regina said before kissing Emma again. “We always do.” 

__

“Come inside,” Regina said, taking Emma’s hand and pulling her into the warmth of the house. This time, Regina didn’t even try to quell the beating of her heart when Emma pushed her against the wall in the front hallway and kissed her yet again.

__


End file.
